Keep Going

Good morning friends,

It has been almost two weeks since my last post. I have struggled during this time, stressing and feeling anxious about my work and family balance, wondering if I am on the right path. Honestly, this is something I have struggled with for years, since becoming a mom. I believe most women struggle with balancing everything on our plates. Our hearts pull us in one direction, and our heads another. Sometimes all I feel I can do is pray.

The Lord has blessed me and my family in so many ways. I know that He is with me no matter which path I choose in life. His love never fails. I often hear other Christians discuss how the Lord speaks to them. They seem so sure and certain that He is the one guiding them in a certain direction. I can’t say I have experienced this personally. I often think I get in my own way, but I do not want to be someone who projects my thoughts and desires as God’s plan for me.

One morning this past week, my alarm clock had just went off and I was barely waking. I have trouble pulling myself out of bed most days. But, as I lay there, still half asleep, two words were given to me - “Keep Going”. Now, I do not know if these were truly spoken to me or lingering thoughts from an unfinished dream. But, I am going to have faith that those two words are what I need to know right now. Keep Going.

We sometimes try to take back control over our lives and situations instead of trusting God’s control. He’s got this. He’s got us.

I often sit down to write about the my most recent scripture reading, and end up writing what is on my heart. I hope this reaches you, my friends, however God intends.

Love,

A.

Consistency

Good Morning Friends,

I have been feeling a bit down the past couple of days. My energy has been lower than usual, but last night as I was reminding myself of all the things I am thankful for, I realized that it is a blessing to have these “lows”. I often struggle with slowing down and I pray for the strength to do so in order to be more fully present in my day to day life. This week my mind and body have slowed and now I can smile about it because God’s timing is perfect.

Usually when I feel this way I struggle to maintain consistency. I have fallen behind in my daily Bible reading, but know that I can pick up where I left off today and keep moving forward. Today I will start Numbers. Before moving on, I have some thoughts to share about Leviticus.

As I continued my reading through Leviticus I couldn’t help but wonder what place these Old Testament laws have today in Christian Faith. In Bible School and Sunday School we were taught the ten commandments, but not the expansive list of rules contained within the Old Testament. I am wrestling with this today and trying to understand how to piece the old and new together. These rules had a most important purpose – Leviticus 11:44: “For I am the Lord your God. You must consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.” This is repeated in the next verse, “Therefore, you must be holy because I am holy.”

The Israelites were never wholly “clean”, but if they followed the instructions provided they could be purified and declared ceremonially clean again. There are many ways an Israelite would be considered unclean or defiled, but some of these were temporary in nature if God’s instructions were followed.

Perhaps the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ replaces these old testament rituals. The animal sacrifices are no longer necessary because the Lamb of God was sacrificed so that we may not die.

Leviticus Chapter 15:31 – “This is how you will guard the people of Israel from ceremonial uncleanness. Otherwise they would die, for their impurity would defile my Tabernacle that stands among them.”

Friends, I have to say, Leviticus Chapter 26 stopped me in my tracks. It is so powerful. God knew His people would not obey and we would be “scattered among the nations”. There will be severe consequences, “But at last my people will confess their sins and the sins of their ancestors for betraying me and being hostile towards me. … then at last their stubborn hearts will be humbled, and they will pay for their sins.” Leviticus 26:40-41. The scripture goes on to read, “But despite all this, I will not utterly reject or despise them while they are in exile in the land of their enemies. I will not cancel my covenant with them by wiping them out, for I am the Lord their God.” Leviticus 26:44

Our God - all knowing and filled with love for us despite our failings. He knew what lay ahead, yet he still is faithful to us. Let us return to Him and confess our failings, and strive to live each day in His light.

My friends, please know I am but an ordinary working wife and mother of two seeking the abundance only God can provide. I am not a preacher or religious studies expert. I am referencing the website https://bibleproject.com/ for additional guidance and context as I continue my reading through the Bible. I highly recommend checking them out if you are struggling with understanding the narrative and themes. They publish a wealth of information from articles, videos, and podcasts.

Love,

-A

Blessings in Disguise

Two days ago we had an awful storm blow through. It was Saturday night, early Sunday morning. The wind howled and rain poured. My husband and I did not sleep well that night, but drifted off here and there to awake to no power in the house. It was pitch black and about 6:00 am. Our power company usually sends us an outage alert, but not this time. I reported the outage and lay awake thinking about how difficult the day would be without any electricity. We both eventually decided it was time to get up and get going despite the inconvenience. We had purchased a generator after Hurricane Helene left us without power for two weeks in October 2024. We used this to keep our refrigerator running, charge our phones, and make a pot of coffee. We used our grill to prepare food, and sourced water from a nearby creek to be able to flush our toilet. My husband, the hard worker he is, took care of everything to help us get through the day. Of course our children complained at the lack of internet and groaned about how bored they were. But you know what, we ended up having such a great day.

I personally have been enjoying the lack of television and screen time that I committed to for the Lent season. It was nice to not have TV on first thing in the morning, and be able to spend time catching up on my scripture reading and listen to a sermon instead. We went for a walk on some local hiking trails adjacent to a disc golf course where my husband and daughter practiced their throws. We played board games together, and went to a local park where my son and daughter ran and played tag and hide and seek. I used some time in between our activities to look at my week ahead and jot down priorities in my Life Planner, which I rarely take the time to do. It was a great day being present with family.

Our power came back on shortly after 7:30 pm, just in time to take showers and complete chores in preparation for the week ahead. I went to bed thinking about just how blessed we are. We are blessed to have a roof over our heads, food in the refrigerator, clean running water, and yes, electricity. We take so much for granted. Yesterday we were blessed to not have the distractions modern conveniences bring to spend quality time together. I am blessed to have such a wonderful partner in life who takes care of his family. I am blessed with two happy, healthy children who bring so much purpose and joy to my life. God is good.

I share this with you in hopes that you can see the blessings in whatever storm you are weathering, my friends.

Today I pick back up in Leviticus, Chapter 9. I think many may find these readings tedious, repetitive, and difficult to get through. But, I’m trying to focus on the detail. It is amazing to think that God cared so much about being back in a partnership with His creation, that He spent the time with Moses to detail out all the instructions needed to bridge the gap created time after time since our fall in Eden. God wanted to restore the partnership, to restore our purity, to be with His creation again. Why do we turn away from that kind of love?

Thank you for reading,

-A

New Perspective

Yesterday our clocks changed, springing forward one hour. I am having a tough time with the loss of one hour of sleep, given that I have already had trouble sleeping the past couple of nights.

Weekends are difficult for me. I know they are supposed to be the best days of the week, at least for those that work Monday through Friday. No work, just free time to do as you please. I struggle with the lack of structure though and I have trouble creating my own structure for those two days. I want to do so much - house projects, outings with the family, and personal passion projects (gardening, art, reading). Of course, I want to take time to rest and refresh as well, as I detailed in my last post. This past Saturday started out fine, but anger quickly rose in me and I took it out on those I love the most. I was so ashamed, and so angry that I was letting my anger control my actions. You may wonder what I became so angry about. Honestly, I cannot pinpoint the exact trigger. I believe this is a pattern I have whenever I begin doing housework. I start the project at hand and become angry that I am carrying the load, and it feels like no one else in the household cares to help or even acknowledge all that I’m doing. Why am I the one doing all of this work? Well, angry me is quite irrational. But when the anger fades I know that is not the truth. My husband carries his share and sometimes the task scales weigh heavier in his direction than mine.

I began researching some biblical guidance about chores and realized quickly I have had the wrong perspective on housework and home projects for a long time. My research took me all the way back to Genesis.

Genesis 1:28 - Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the Earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

Genesis 2:15 - The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.

It is clear work is a part of God’s original design for humanity and we were made to govern over the Earth. If I flip the perspective to this and realize that my home is my part of the world that I can govern, then I should take joy in doing the work the Lord has called me to do. It is about seeing God in our work and doing our work for God.

This Psalm has been with me for several weeks now. I haven’t been sure why it has tugged at my heart strings until now:

Psalms 127:1-2. Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning to late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”

Everything we do must have a foundation in God.

There is one more verse I will leave you with my friends that resonates with me:

Proverbs 14:1 - A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

Today I continue my year of reading through the Bible with Exodus Chapters 30-31. The past few days’ worth of reading have been chapters so rich in detail that God prescribed to Moses for the Tabernacle and consecration of Aaron and his sons. It warms my heart to think that He must care about the details of our lives too.

Rest

There is a slight dusting of snow on the ground this morning in Western NC, one of the many signs that winter is still lingering. This morning I want to write about rest. I was thinking about this topic last night as I continued my reading through Exodus Chapters 19-21.

In Chapter 20 God lays out the ten commandments to Moses. One of which being observing the Sabbath as a day of rest. Exodus Ch. 20: 9-10, “You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God…”. In verse 11, He goes on to say “For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as Holy.”

Today it seems like we are running at a break-neck pace from one task to the next. We measure our worth in how much we can get done, and taking time to rest is often viewed as negative or weak. But, we are not robots. As a working, mom of two I have fallen victim to the mindset that I must be superwoman. I must do everything and be everything to everyone. If I could just plan every minute of my day to be doing something then everything would be perfect, but I had to fill every slot on my calendar or else things would fall behind. I wouldn’t be the perfect mom, wife, employee, woman… the list goes on. Friends, that mindset is exhausting. We all deserve rest. One of my favorite sayings is, “We are human beings, not human doings.” Sure, we all have things that have to get done, but why are we putting so much pressure on ourselves? Even God mandated in the Old Covenant that we rest to honor Him, for He rested after He created everything.

Another passage from Exodus that really stuck with me is regarding Moses’ work of resolving disputes between the people of Israel (Exodus Chapter 18). When Moses’ father-in-law visits, he see all that Moses is doing for the people. After observing and questioning what Moses is doing he says, “This is not good!” You’re going to wear yourself out - and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.” (Verses 17-18). He goes on to advise Moses on how to lighten his load by selecting other leaders in the tribe to assist with cases.

I believe that we all have taken on jobs, tasks, and roles that are too heavy a burden for us to carry ourselves. Maybe part of the lesson is we need to rely on each other. There will be seasons in our life where we need to remember this more than ever. Seasons where we need to share our load with the people God has placed in our life for that very purpose, and seasons where we can help someone else carry their load. We are not robots, and as winter still lingers here in Western NC, we need to consider what season we are in spiritually. Maybe this is a season to unload some of your burdens, shake off those unrealistic expectations, and turn to the One who never asked us to be all those things to begin with. Whatever season you are in my friends, I hope you take time to rest.

Thank you for reading.

-A

Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. I attended an Ash Wednesday service at the church I usually attend. The service concluded with an invitation for the imposition of ashes. This is the second time I have participated in an Ash Wednesday service and received the mark of the cross in ashes on my forehead. It is a humbling reminder that we are born of dust, and to dust we will return. But the beauty of accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior is that we will have everlasting life in Him, for he died for us.

Lent is a 40 day season of prayer, fasting, self-denial, self-reflection, and what my pastor refers to as “heart work”. And heart work is hard work, my friends. This 40 day period concludes on April 17th, Holy Thursday, and prepares us for Easter Sunday when we will reflect on and remember the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Most Christians give something up for the Lent season. Our self-denial or abstinence expresses sorrow and contrition for our wrongdoing, and indicates our intention to turn away from sin and turn back to God. Last year I wasn’t sure what to really give up, but I really think I wasn’t being honest with myself about “wanting” to give something up. This year I am planning to be more intentional with my time and finances. I am giving up excess and frivolous spending (Do I really need to add another item to my Amazon cart?) and screen time (think doom scrolling and reality TV binge sessions). These activities do not serve me well and do not strengthen my relationship with my Savior. If anything, they are distractions. Distractions from the fulfillment I find in spending time in prayer and with God’s Word.

If you want to learn more about Lent, a Google search will certainly provide an abundance of information. I’m not a practicing Catholic, but I found this website helpful as well - https://www.usccb.org/prayer-worship/liturgical-year/lent.

I wish you all an enlightening and introspective Lent season. Thank you for reading.

-A

The Journey Begins…

Truth be told, this journey began several days ago. Or perhaps several, several years ago. I have always been a Christian. I was brought up in the Methodist Church. Sunday mornings were spent sitting in the pew next to my grandmother. She was strong in her faith, but I struggled with the more formal, traditional church structure. In my teenage years I spent time attending a Baptist Church with my boyfriend at the time. It was a nice change of pace to be around believers my own age. I knew I believed in God and that he created us in love, but I never prioritized spending time with Him. I eventually stopped attending church and let life consume me - college, career, starting a family. Now here I am, 37 years old, and I want nothing more but to be closer to my Heavenly Father and lean into His will for my life. The best place I figured to start was in His Holy Word. I have made it through Genesis, and have started Exodus. I did not intend to document my journey through the Bible, but there has been something stirring inside of me the past week. I felt particularly called when reading about Moses.

Exodus 4:10 - “But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue tied, and my words get tangled”.

The scripture goes on with Moses pleading “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”

Well, I am not good with words or putting myself out there for mass review or criticism. I prefer a quiet life to myself, but this chapter spoke to me. Why not put my words out into the world. My thoughts, reflections, and my journey in faith. The Lord calls all of us in different ways, and it usually does not involve staying in our comfort zone. So, here goes nothing.

Thank you for reading.

-A